Monday, August 27, 2012


With two deaths in our family this week, there has been a LOT of talk about mortality with the kids.

'Nana Icella dived, aye Dad?'
'She died, yes.'
'Are you going to dive, Dad?'
'Hopefully not for a long, long time yet.'
'Am I going to dive, Dad?'

It has been hard for me.

Both because I'm one of those people who cries reading the newspaper, who cries during a funeral on T.V (even if I've never watched the series before) and who breaks down at the very thought of losing someone.
And the thought of anyone in our wee family 'diving' is just too much for me.
I know that fear of death is incredibly normal, I mean, it's the biggest unknown in life, huh? It's the biggest mystery of all. It's a major.

And also because it's times like these I wish I had some sort of faith - a belief of where we go, or what happens to us, after this.
I have tried and tried to work out where I stand on this one, but nothing seems to resonate with me. Not yet, anyway. Turns out you can't MAKE yourself believe something, unfortunately.
I'm quite envious of those of you who truly believe, and have such strong faith, in an afterlife. You are very blessed to have such reassurance.

I know that both Abraham's Nana and his Great Aunt, who passed this week, had faith that they were headed to a happier place, where they would be reunited with their lost loves.
I strongly, strongly hope that that is exactly where they are now.

Rest in peace, beautiful women.


  1. Yeh it's a massive one alright. That's an amazing photo of your little guys on the edge of the grave. The questions are hard. I have had to pull over when I was driving once because my eldest (who was 4 or so at the time) was crying out "I don't want to die.. I don't want to die!" It's hard to explain. Would be easier with a faith for sure.

    I got obsessed when my Mum died about finding out where she had gone. I just wanted to know where she was.. Of course we'll never know till it happens to us, right?!

    Were his Nana and the great aunt sisters? That's quite amazing to go in the same week. Condolences to you and your family. It feels like they'll always be there and when they go there's definitely a gap left behind.

  2. Hey chook, So sorry to hear of your families losses this week :( what a tough one. Much love to you.

    You are so right on about not being able to "make" ourselves believe something.I also firmly stand on the fact that no one else can make us believe anything either. It truly is something that is revealed to us on a deeply personal scale. There's a very well known line in the bible which goes something like Ask and it will be given to you Seek and you will find Knock and the door will open.


    p.s I cry at everything too. The amount of tears I've shed during Home and away is pathetic :)

  3. ^^ Widge, LOVE that lady!! I hear you, I felt like that for a long time, and still do sometimes. I read a book called The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman. Even though I can hardly remember much of it, what I do remember is him talking about a collective consciousness that we all belong to, before, during, and after life. Or something like that... Anyway, my interpretation of what it says def. brings me comfort, though in saying that, there are certain people in my life that I would never get over it if anything happened to them...

  4. Sorry to hear about all that loss in your family. I cry at EVERYTHING - I had to stop watching the olympics, so I hear you on that. My father in law died just a few short weeks before Andrew was born, it was SO hard, but he had been sick for a long time so it a relief to think he was no longer suffering. I think it's always a good reminder to make the most of the life that we have and take the time for those that we love and not get tied up in the fast paced life we seem to live these days xxx

  5. So sorry to hear about the losses in your family Rhiannon - I saw the photo you post on face book of Molly and A - both looking very sharp :)

    I'm with you and widge on this one, belief comes on a personal level and nothing can be forced. I hope you can find some peace xx

  6. Big love, Rhiannon. xx

    (ps..I am also a cry at everything gal. Even things that shouldn't really make me cry!)

  7. Man. What a tough week. So glad you managed to capture it on SD card x

  8. hope this week is easier, R. I'd be there with cake in a jiffy if I could. I hear you on the faith factor too, just can't force it, aye? big hugs to you guys. xx