Monday, August 16, 2010


This Winter has been really hard.

I feel like I have struggled to even achieve the simplest daily tasks; washing out, dishes done, floor clean.. and have failed miserably at everything else one is meant to find time for. I've not done any exercise, barely any sewing or knitting, a minimal amount of blogging/emailling and even seem to have become somewhat of a hermit. I have battled with myself every single day to not just spend all day, unshowered and in my pjs, doing nothing productive on the net.

I don't seem to have managed to overcome the 'Winter blahs' at all, rather they seem to have taken me over.

I don't think it has helped much that the universe dished me up two funerals this Winter. It is amazing how much the heart can ache when it is grieving. And also how little one feels like doing when they are busy processing a loss and taking stock of their own life.

But I have been here before, this is not a new place for me, and I just keep reminding myself that I have managed to pull through much darker times than these. The sun is shining today and I am feeling hopeful that Spring is on its way in and the blahs are on their way out.

How are you anyway?

13 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear your winter hasn't been that great. I've been feeling very blah myself this winter and have been struggling to get things done. Having said that, I feel like things are looking up now that Spring isn't too far away - everything seems better when the sun is out. :) Hope you find your groove again soon. x

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  2. Aw love, chin up! The trees are starting to blossom and this god-awful indecisive weather means that spring is (believe it or not) here in it's early form. I just keep telling myself that, and it's helping me with my PND *HEAPS* at the moment, that and loads of caffiene and vitamin B supplements.
    You got to remember, most people who have time for those mundane tasks must be pretty boring at heart if they hold housework a high priority in their happiness. Does that make sense? I don't know. But Lukes mum says "a house should be clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy". *HUGS*

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been down :( I know how hard it can be to slog through the winter with a little one and having to deal with loss at the same time, no wonder you are feeling so down. I wish I could offer something to help...this may sound silly, but wondering if addressing any nutritional deficiencies might help--I know low magnesium has been linked to mild depression...also wanted to mention that I just feel so much better (physically and mentally) when incorporating more raw fruits and veggies into my diet--love 'green smoothies'--great way to get in a lot of nutrients in a yummy shake. (I know it's hard to want to do that when you don't feel up to much though!)Anyway, I hope you start to feel better soon! Sending you good vibes from Canada :)

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  4. xox I hope that getting your feelings 'out there' will help you feel better soon xox

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  5. i totally know the feeling. august/sept are always the dig-deep ones for us too. the kids almost always get sick during these months (after being healthy all year!) and the rain...and the indoors...and the dark...yeah, yanno. BUT!!! we have daffodils! and summer to look forward to - those poor northern hemisphere peeps are desperately clinging on to the last remaining days of summer while we are marching towards it's glorious light!! hoorah :)
    (btw- for the LIFE of me, i cannot see where to follow you. help?)

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  6. I can totally relate to you! The amount of times my brother (who lives in the same street) has popped around to find my in my jammies on the internet... It's ridiculous! While I haven't suffered any losses in recent months, I have definitely felt the gloominess of winter hanging over me - not helped by the fact that I know next to no other young mothers in the near vicinity.. I try to get crafty stuff done, but then feel guilty about the state of the house, and when I do spend time cleaning - I'm exhausted and grumpy when Zan comes home. I'm constantly berating myself for not being a better housewife... Ugggg!!!

    But yes, spring is on it's way and with it warmer 'outsidy' days... In the meantime I'm trying to fill my house with flowers to evoke summery days and make the house feel a little more uplifted...

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  7. I feel exactly the same way! I have always poo-pooed those who get the winter blues, until I experienced them myself this year. The world has seemed quite colourless, and the constant grey skys, probably not helped by the boatload of stress I've been under lately have not made for a very pleasant winter. I wish I'd been more aware of how I was feeling earlier, so I could of put things into practice to help it... Now, I'm just working hard to survive the rest of the winter, finding joys in the little things such as planning my summer garden, waxing my legs (despite them never seeing the light of day), painted toenails, expensive out-of-season but necessary flowers, and the peaking out of blossoms and spring flowers. Oh, and constantly telling myself there is only 3 more weeks till spring! Hang in there, you can do it!

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  8. I love your honest post, I too can relate. Somedays drowning under wet washing and wondering if cloth nappies are worth it. Feeling like a bad housekeeper and mother. But look for small pleasures and it can all change, kids are great for bringing out some smiles. Hope your winter blues fade as the spring weather comes out. xx

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  9. I'm glad you wrote! Winter can be exceptionally hard. Over in the other hemisphere we're getting ready for our turn. What do you think about getting a 'daylight' lamp? There are some out there with the same amount of lumens as you would get from bright sun. Sitting under it for a while each day wouldn't help with the large losses in your life, but might help with the day-to-day blahs.
    I'll be holding you in my heart.

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  10. Having had periods of depression myself, I can say that the best thing for my mental health is to do some exercise, no matter how much I don't want to. My ipod is really good for that because I save up my favourite podcasts and I'm only allowed to listen to them if I'm walking. All that other stuff, housework, etc, just doesn't even matter. Hope you are through the grey days soon.

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  11. Yep - I can relate to this totally. When it's cold and miserable outside all I want to do is sit down inside with a cup of tea in my jammies.

    Last week I'd absolutely had enough of myself so I started taking iron tablets and it's made a world of difference to me. For the first time in years I don't feel completely overwhelmed by the housework/cooking/other responsibilities and the house is the tidiest it's been for ages. Of course I haven't had any bereavements to cope with but if you're diet hasn't been great it might help? Love your Wardrobe Wed refashioned skirt btw :)

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  12. Just read this from the other day. I hope you are feeling a little better (Wardrobe Wednesday definitely helped!)

    I am the same, I don't do very well during the winter. Over here we get snow, which is fun, but when it's not snowing it is unbearably cold and everything outside looks dead - the grass, the trees etc. At least in NZ everything still looks lush and green, I really miss that. Thankfully we get a long summer here, which makes up for the winter - don't think I could handle it otherwise! Not sure how they cope in some Northern Hemisphere countries where they have lousy summers as well! It won't start getting cold here until November, but it is like an overnight change - all of a sudden gets freezing. So then it will be me pining for the NZ summer :o(

    Not long and spring will be in full swing down there. Wish I could send you some warmer weather in the meantime though.

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  13. This sums up exactly how I feel about winter...completely blah, unmotivated and unproductive. I'm so sorry to hear that you have had two funerals to deal with as well. Hopefully some spring sunshine will brighten the world up for both of us. :)

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